Beside Still Waters

Psalm 23:4

Frank woke up before the alarm this morning. He was eager to fish the Missouri with his best friend, Paul. They had traveled to Craig, Montana, hoping to catch large rainbow and brown trout. They were meeting a guide at 7:00 AM sharp and planned to fish the stretch between Holter Dam and Craig.

The Missouri flows through open ranches and farmlands with gentle, rolling grass-covered banks that evoke a sense of peace and simplicity. The regulated tailwater creates smooth, long stretches that feel like calm water where you can cast a fly and connect with nature.

Lying in bed, Frank reflected on the many times over the years he and Paul had fished together. They shared some great moments, and their friendship grew stronger as a result. Every time on the water with Paul was a lifetime memory in the making.

However, this trip was going to be truly special. Paul had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He had been fighting it for several years. After his initial staging, Paul received radiation therapy to shrink the tumor. His oncologist was encouraged by the early results, but then the cancer appeared in nearby lymph nodes. As a result, Paul was prescribed a combination of chemotherapy and immunotherapy. This treatment slowed the progression until it eventually metastasized.

Frank had walked with Paul as he carried his burden. Frank saw Paul change from a strong outdoorsman to a weaker version of his former self. But throughout the transformation, Paul maintained his love of fly fishing and his belief that his faith would sustain him in his darkest hours.

It occurred to Frank that we all inevitably walk our path. As they say, no one gets out of this life alive. But watching Paul walk it so publicly was heart-wrenching.

Following Paul’s diagnosis that he had only months left, he wanted one more grand fly-fishing adventure. Rivers were discussed and rejected for various reasons. It wasn’t until Frank and Paul were discussing Psalm 23:1-4 that the Missouri came up. Paul wanted to see the green pastures and still waters. He wanted to have his soul renewed once again before he had to take a final walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

After reading about the section of the Missouri between Holter Dam and Craig, it seemed the perfect spot to slap the water together and create a lasting memory.

Looking across the room, Frank could see Paul sleeping quietly. If you didn’t know about his health challenge, you wouldn’t think anything was wrong. And that was how Paul liked it. While he wanted Frank to be able to talk about the illness, he also didn’t want every conversation to be about the cancer. Paul also didn’t want to hear platitudes or false optimism. He wanted authentic support and conversations that respected his current reality.

Fishing was the perfect activity for Paul. Cancer can be a rollercoaster of emotions, but fly fishing was a reliable constant in our lives. The conversations always revolve around which flies to use and how to successfully land a fish. It is a chance for Paul to rise to a challenge and enjoy the success of overcoming it. From Paul’s perspective, he wants to live as if he is living, not dying.

Today is going to be an amazing day, Frank thought. My best friend and I are going to go out and have the adventure of a lifetime. He is going to see the green pastures and the still waters. And we are going to enjoy nature the way God intended. My buddy’s not giving up on life. He is going to live every moment until life gives up on him, and I am going to be by his side every step of the way.

The alarm rings, and Frank reaches over to turn it off. “Wake up, Trout Bum!” Frank shouts. “Today is going to be an amazing day.”